Update: 20 Weeks: Half Baked! Happy Thanksgiving

  20 WEEKS ~ HALF WAY POINT 

• Baby is around 10 inches long (head to foot) and weighs about 10 1/2 ounces.
• She can hear sound now and will become startled and cover ears with hands if a loud or abrupt sound is made. She can dislike whack Hip Hop.
• She should already know familiar voices and sounds and will start to memorize and become familiar other sounds like music. Now when people talk to the belly, she can actually hear the conversation. People who talk to the belly are no longer crazy at this point.
• She's starting to remember things and understand herself and surroundings, like her own hands and feet and may have a special place and position to sleep or play, suck her thumb on purpose or pick her nose.
• Her hands and toes are growing nails and her hair is growing rapidly. Mini eyelashes are done forming. Knowing my genetics, vanity is starting to form.
• At this point the baby is in accurate proporation and by the end of the week will look like a real minature infant.

Preemie born around 20 weeks.

Today is Thanksgiving and I just wanted to give a warm hug and show love to those who have been following my progress, have offerred support and made time for me. I'd also like to thank those of you who visit this blog, leave comments and have contacted me. It's all so meaningful to me, right now especially. I'm deeply thankful for the people who care, my children included and this opportunity and journey.

Happy Thanksgiving

140 days to go!

November 22, 2012 Appointment Recap, Some Questions Answered

It was nice to see a familiar face at my appointment yesterday. This whole ordeal has been very confusing and I admit I found some refuge in speaking with someone who knows my personality style and medical history.



My Personality and Medical History



The exam went well. The baby is doing fine it seems. Heart rate normal. Uterine growth on target. I still haven't gained any weight but I was referred to a nutritionist. I was also told I have to drink more water, eat more fiber and I was asked if I needed relationship counceling.

*blank stare follwed by dramatic pause and quiet chuckle*

I'm still on pelvic rest. But the good news is that my activity restriction was greatly reduced. I questioned this and the contrasting advice from the previous doctor but I was told the prior restrictions were in place until the full report was done in light of my other factors. [Insert "everybody is different" pre-rehersed lecture.]

So here is "The List" with the "so far" answers I was given:

What type of placenta previa do I have? Is it complete, marginal or partial?

Complete. No measurements were indicated on the report. However, her suggestions would be the same regardless if it was marginal or not. No sex, nothing in there, no orgasm, no stimulating contractions or bloodflow to the area and nothing irritating it. I was instructed to refuse, beligerantly if needed, anything that could penetrate or arouse me; not even to let ER doctors do a pelvic exam.

My thoughts that I kept to myself: #FML

How many CM wide is my cervix? How many CM of placenta are overlapping my cervix? Is the placenta centralized over the cervix?  Is the placenta anterior or posterior? Is it leaning to one side? If so, which side? Is the placental cord single, double or presenting any abnormalities? Are there any signs of other complications such as placenta accreta, increta, percreta, vasa previa or placenta abruption? Can I have a MRI to rule out additional complications? Can I be referred to a high risk clinic or have a perinatal specialist involved in my care?

No measurements were indicated on the report. She is scheduling a follow up ultrasound for 26-28 weeks, at which point if it has not resolved, there measurements will be taken and I'll be referred to the high risk clinic in Boston for routine ultrasounds and to be involved in my care. At this point she wants to see if it resolves or improves before putting me through the efforts of extra bi-monthly appointments, walking, stress etc. As for accreta, the placenta not improving at all by 26-28 will indicate if it's deeply embedded. As for vasa, it's not a major issue if the placenta moves.

My thoughts that I kept to myself: She's right that extra appointments would be stressful and burdensome, considering I have a toddler in tow AND that it was my toddler's meltdown in radiology that prevented the measurements from being taken in the first place; cutting my appointment short and getting only the basics done. Still, it could be she just doesn't want to complicate matters for herself. She's so nice and easy going, I really can't tell her motives. (But I like that about her.)

What are the chances at present that this can resolve on its own?

At present, there is an 75% chance it will resolve itself. However, if it hasn't improved some by my next ultrasound, then the chances drop drastically.

How many CM away from the cervix must the placenta be in order to be cleared for vaginal delivery?

Her: "Off... like, way off." Me: "How much is way off?" Her: "OFF off [insert *the look*]"

Is the fetus having any growth abnormalities, deformities or anomalies?

None indicated on any ultrasound report and everything seems normal and going great otherwise.

Do I have gestational diabetes or preeclampsia? If so, how does it affect my care and are there any special precautions?
Am I at risk for blood clots or thromboembolism? If so, how is this managed?

I need a blood glucose test. Needed my HIV test (mandatory for each pregnancy). Blood pressure normal. Not at abnormal risk for blood clots at this time. Walking or moving around greatly reduce the risk of clotting.

What follow-up care will I need for the rest of my pregnancy?

I'll have a routine follow up monthly plus required tests until my next ultrasound, which will determine my care after that point. Previa is common when diagnosed before 20 weeks and in the absence of pain or bleeding, there isn't much more that can be done other than wait.

Can I be monitored monthly by ultrasound for placental localization changes?

Since ultrasounds done on previa patients are transvaginal, considering my history, she doesn't even want to risk doing an ultrasound. She doesn't want anything in there or anyone pressing on my belly - period, until the baby has good chances outside the womb.

My thoughts that I kept to myself: Although it would be nice if I could know as soon as possible if I can resume normal activities, her suggestion seems most logical actually. Something around 90% of babies born after 28 weeks do okay.

What exactly are my activity restrictions right now? What is the most weight I can lift? How much housework can I do? How much walking can I do? What kind of exercise can I do? What kind of travel can I do? Car? Boat? Plane?

• Pelvic Rest no sex, etc.
• No high impact exercise causing vigirous breathing or activities that could result in falling. no sex, etc. lol
• Don't fall. Don't bang myself into anything. no sex, etc. lol
• I can lift my toddler, just not walk around carrying him or anything. Putting him in and out of playpen, high chair, car seat, on/off slide at park etc. is okay. If he's kicking, or wiggling too much, don't do it. Don't want him kicking my belly. Okay, so this was a big improvement for me because my youngest son needs help getting in and out of things and my doctor knows my muscle tone can lift him with one arm, no strain, no problem. So I was really sad about not being allowed to do those things the past couple weeks. And I'm happy she didn't see a problem with this. No piggy backs though =(
• I can lift whatever my arm/back/chest muscles can tolerate without needing core muscles. Again, this was a big improvement for me; as I didn't want to do ALL my shopping online.
• No abrupt bending or reaching, hoola-hoops, volly ball, sports. Awe, no hoola hoop?Aweeeeeeeeee =(
• Light housework.
• Light cooking. 
• Don't travel, stay close to hospital.
• Mild exercise. Walking casually with breaks and listen to my body. Prenatal yoga is okay, so I'm gathering she's leaning toward this "impact scale." She did say mild hiking was okay, just don't push it or fall. I'm guessing that swimming is okay as long as I'm not bleeding.
• Overall, "take it easy." Overall, taking it easy is not easy for me. I am very active. So even taking it easy is torture. But not as much torture as total bedrest. So I'll take it.

How much weight gain should I aim for? Do I need to modify my caloric intake due to any activity restrictions?

I still need to gain 8-15 lbs.

Notes: So far I've flucturated around my pre-pregnancy weight. In the first trimester I lost around 10lbs. And I've gained and lost. This appointment, I lost a half pound from my previous appointment. She's referring me to a nutritionist. :-/

What do I do in the event of a yeast infection? What do I do in the event of constipation? What can I do to prevent constipation?

She's calling in a prescription with refills of yeast infection cream and fiber suppliments at my phrarmacy. However, she recommends preventing this in the first place with diet. Her personal suggestions are eating bran and psyllium every day, apple cider, yogurt, kefer, water, etc.

How should I respond to BH contractions?

Prevent them by staying hydrated and not staying in one position too long, longer than an hour or so.

Personal Theory: Almost everything I read about experience with bleeds starting while laying down or dehydrated. I'm wondering if the uterus takes advantage of "downtime" by practicing it's contractions when the body is most still, such as during sleep or while immoble. Now I'm contemplating how many women notice BH contractions or start bleeds during regular casual activity. Hmmm. I also know that the baby itself can compress a previa, so standing or sitting can sometimes act as "applying pressure to a wound." Although I've read contradicting views that the weight of the baby also puts pressure on the placenta, which could aggrivate it. Now I'm actually interested in knowing which is most detrimental.

What symptoms should I look out for? Fever? Shortness of breath? How should I respond to pain or cramping but no blood? How should I respond to bleeding? When should I go to the ER? How should I respond to mucus discharge or signs of cervical shedding?

If anything abnormal occurs, come in. If I'm not bleeding and can't come in, at least call. If I bleed, come in A.S.A.P. by ambulance if needed. Whatever happens, do not let ER doctors put anything in there or do an exam unless it's life threatening. Have them call an High Risk OB immediately. Tell them I have a previa and do not touch me.

I'm getting the idea that my doctor does not trust doctors at all, or anyone for that matter. Her whole demeanor throughout the appointment seemed as if she really wanted to emphasize that I should be not be letting anyone touch my "privacy" or my belly. He facial expressions were such that if it were legal to suggest, she would have probaby recommended I carry pepper spray. Haha. :-x

If the placenta doesn't clear, does the hospital give steroid shots for fetal lung development? If so, at how many weeks? If the placenta doesn't clear, will I need to take tocolytics? If the placenta doesn't clear, does the hospital conduct amniocentesis for fetal lung monitoring? If so, at how many weeks? If the placenta doesn't clear but there are no other complications, when will a c-section be scheduled? Are placenta previa c-sections conducted under general or spinal anesthesia? If placenta is anterior and a c-section is required, will the surgeon do a vertical incision or cut through the placenta? Can I store my own blood in case of the need for a transfusion? If so, how can I arrange that?
What procedures and policies do I need to know about regarding a c-section? What procedures and policies do I need to know about regarding the NICU?

Right now, my doctor's thoughts are a c-section is off her radar. While this pregnancy may require a c-section, may be further complicated and may not improve; she doesn't even want to think in that direction yet and suggests I don't either. She did say that if the condition persists and a c-section is needed, as long as it's not an emergency delievery, she will probably have me transferred to deliever in Boston (which could happen anyway); because they have a bigger blood bank.

My doctor is such a hippie. Granted, my kid's doctors are also hippies and I think I pick them for that reason. Despite my questions going unanswered (which is mildly peeving); she really wants me to visualize and focus on having a natural vaginal delivery. Perhaps she's right in this regard. I certainly put stock in the power of visualization and faith.

If I start to bleed heavily and am waiting for an ambulance, is there anything I can do to prevent massive blood loss or decrease bleeding? What bed rest policies are in place? (For instance, if I bleed once will I be put on bed rest? If I bleed more than once, will I be hospitalized?) Are there any special foods or drugs that are usually safe during pregnancy that I should avoid specifically? Could anything bring on contractions or increase likelihood or severity of bleeding? Can I donate my afterbirth to research? If so, how can I arrange that? What local and hospital resources do I have at my disposal? How can I get the rest of my questions answered, if they were not answered?

I can't believe I forgot to ask these questions. =( I will ask next time I talk to a doctor. In the meantime, I'll research some of this later.

Thank You Viki: Home Made TV Dinners

Rice & Pigeon Peas, Mixed Vegetables, Stewed Chicken;
my half eaten apple;
Ignore the AIRWALK BOX in the background (sorting coupons)

Yesterday my sister Victoria came by and cooked a bunch of home made TV dinners for me. She made about 20 of them from things already in my pantry. This saves me a bundle ($$$) and although may be highter in calories than say, Smart Ones; at least most ingredients are organic, low-gmo and happy (chicken). Less pesticides and preservatives are important to promoting fetal growth right now. So although frozen dinners may be one of the only ways to get a hot meal for awhile, the quality of those meals makes a difference if you have a choice.

Raw foods are my foods of choice right now and what I'm craving, but frequent trips to the grocer for fresh produce plus prep time are a no go this week. I try to pick up a few things when I do go out. A few days ago it was apples. *drool* I never thought I'd say this but I would kill for some celery and cashew butter... literally. Watch your back. ;)

The trays for the TV dinners came from an ongoing multi-household collection of hoarding recyclables. For anyone who criticizes us for saving things like that, na na na boo boo. Saving things like that just saved me 20 x $3.00 in TV dinner costs. Tin foil sheets were $2 for 50 count and can definately be reused. While she was here, her and my older son also managed to put together 20 burritos and a half gallon of basmati rice (now in the freezer). The TV dinners are mostly variations of chicken and rice: yellow rice & peas, white rice and beans with either BBQ or stewed chicken. But that's what I eat. I'm suprised I'm even eating chicken but I'm trying to get my protien intake up. This assortment in addition to expectent Thanksgiving leftovers from my parents should help suppliment meals selections for the next couple of weeks.

Placenta Previa: Questions To Ask?

Wah Wah Wah wah wah WAH WAH wah wah

So I prepared a list of questions to ask my OB on tomorrow at my appointment. I compiled them from Q&A's I found on other blogs and added questions I had as well. I posted them below because I notice a lot of women on forums are asking what to ask too. So I'm sharing. Unless your interested in this sort of thing, the following may be boring. Click here for something more fun.

Questions That Will Likely Go Unanswered By My OB

What type of placenta previa do I have? Is it complete, marginal or partial?

How many CM wide is my cervix?

How many CM of placenta are overlapping my cervix?

How many CM away from the cervix must the placenta be in order to be cleared for vaginal delivery?

Is the placenta centralized over the cervix?

Is the placenta anterior or posterior? Is it leaning to one side? If so, which side?

What are the chances at present that this can resolve on its own?

Is the fetus having any growth abnormalities, deformities or anomalies?

Do I have gestational diabetes or preeclampsia? If so, how does it affect my care and are there any special precautions?

Am I at risk for blood clots or thromboembolism? If so, how is this managed?

Are there any signs of other complications such as placenta accreta, increta, percreta, vasa previa or placenta abruption?

Is the placental cord single, double or presenting any abnormalities?

Can I have a MRI to rule out additional complications?

Can I be referred to a high risk clinic or have a perinatal specialist involved in my care?

What follow-up care will I need for the rest of my pregnancy?

Can I be monitored monthly by ultrasound for placental localization changes?

What exactly are my activity restrictions?

What is the most weight I can lift?

How much housework can I do?

How much walking can I do?

What kind of exercise can I do?

What kind of travel can I do? Car? Boat? Plane?

How much weight gain should I aim for?

Do I need to modify my caloric intake due to any activity restrictions?

What do I do in the event of a yeast infection?

What do I do in the event of constipation?

What can I do to prevent constipation?

How should I respond to BH contractions?

What symptoms should I look out for? Fever? Shortness of breath?

How should I respond to pain or cramping but no blood?

How should I respond to bleeding? When should I go to the ER?

If I start to bleed heavily and am waiting for an ambulance, is there anything I can do to prevent massive blood loss or decrease bleeding?

How should I respond to mucus discharge or signs of cervical shedding?

What bed rest policies are in place? (For instance, if I bleed once will I be put on bed rest? If I bleed more than once, will I be hospitalized?)

Are there any special foods or drugs that are usually safe during pregnancy that I should avoid specifically? Could anything bring on contractions or increase likelihood or severity of bleeding?

If the placenta doesn't clear, does the hospital give steroid shots for fetal lung development? If so, at how many weeks?

If the placenta doesn't clear, will I need to take tocolytics?

If the placenta doesn't clear, does the hospital conduct amniocentesis for fetal lung monitoring? If so, at how many weeks?

If the placenta doesn't clear but there are no other complications, when will a c-section be scheduled?

Are placenta previa c-sections conducted under general or spinal anesthesia?

If placenta is anterior and a c-section is required, will the surgeon do a vertical incision or cut through the placenta?

Can I store my own blood in case of the need for a transfusion? If so, how can I arrange that?

Can I donate my afterbirth to research? If so, how can I arrange that?

What procedures and policies do I need to know about regarding a c-section?

What procedures and policies do I need to know about regarding the NICU?

What local and hospital resources do I have at my disposal?

How can I get the rest of my questions answered, if they were not answered?

That concludes my daily episode of O.C.D.

Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst

I like to remind myself that I'm mildly optimistic about this situation turning itself around. But I'm naturally a realist who accepts the facts. So every day I'm trying to learn a little more about the possibilities, probabilities and what to do next to improve odds in favor of my interests.

Tonight I looked into any tips on being prepared for an emergency specific to this condition. I was surprised to see so little consistent advice on the subject. I must have surfed for 45 minutes straight. A hint here and a hint there... with 1 in every 200 pregnancies having this issue, I'm baffled that there isn't more on this subject; even to offer assurance. Because every pregnancy is different, there isn't a 1 way of doing things. Meanwhile, I read stories of regrets and "only if I" type statements. Everything seems to come down to, "If you bleed, go to the hospital.

I'm gathering what happens is, nobody wants to "worry the pregnant lady" or add stress. So the general advice is to "leave it to the professionals." Simultaneously, I also read the professionals get it wrong - A LOT. What a conundrum. Few seem to think that knowledge is power. Instead the general philosophy is that ignorance is bliss, take it easy, knit some booties. Not in my case.

I wish it was this easy.

So here is my offering to the community from one paranoid mom to the next:

Bare Bones SHTF List

1. Have a telephone on you at all times. Two is even better. Make sure it's always charged and you have a backup battery and charger in your pocket book. When in the house, keep your cordless in your pocket.
2. Set your alarm clock/phone/pc to go off every hour if sleeping, especially while home alone. Wake breifly to check for spotting, roll over and go back to sleep. It will suck at first but since you'll be getting up every few hours once the baby is born, it's not a bad idea to learn to sleep lightly.
3. Stay within 30 minutes (driving, in heavy traffic) of a hospital with an ER. The closer the better if possible. If this isn't doable, ask your hospital and municipality about services and resources in your area. I read somewhere that the people at Ronald McDonald House actually have resources also.
4. Create and distribute a contingency plan with phone numbers, insurance numbers, passwords, basic information including medical information, bank access information, will, notes, instructions for child care of other kids etc. Keep a copy in your bag. Keep a copy on you. Give a copy to a few trusted emergency contacts. Just imagine being unconscious and nobody knowing your allergies or your hubby's phone number. Also include in the plan a pickup for young children. Having to collect them from SOCIAL SERVICES later should be a last resort if avoidable (but remember, you can call them too if you have absolutely NOBODY else to call.)
5. Pack the basics now and have a list of things that aren't packed but needed in case of hospitalization. The proverbial pregnancy "bug out bag" may not have your laptop, smartphone or things you use daily; but at least you'll not have to leave your bra selection to your mother. List the location of the bag in your contingency plan.
6. Practice relaxation techniques, get a therapist and try biofeedback too. Stress and panic cause bleeding to accelerate. If you start to bleed, staying extremely calm is essential to slowing blood loss.
7. Get the best care you (or your insurance) can afford. Many places will assure you that your OB is good enough. If you choose to be with them vs. a specialist because of comfort, that should be the only reason. Otherwise, seek a Perinatal specialist to be involved in your care. I hear it can make a big difference in results.
8. Don't avoid steroids, Rhogam or other prepatory treatments as advised late in pregnancy if CPP is persistent. These can be life saving. I try to stay as natural as possible within reason. But avoiding these defies reason IMO, when your actual immediate life and baby's immediate life is in the balance.
9. Listen to your body. If you feel weird, stop whatever you're doing and if possible, lay or sit down. Many accidents seems to happen when women ignore bodily warnings or act like a super-hero.
10. Be conditioned to call 911 FIRST, not your husband, doctor or anyone else, at any sign of bleeding or concerning pain. Even if you are going to have someone drive to the hospital because you'd get there faster, give the operator your route regardless of defiance. Never drive yourself, as you could pass out while driving. [Many advise women to wait for an ambulance but it's impractical when for instance, you're 5 minutes away and the ambulance takes 10-20 just to arrive; and someone can take you NOW.]

That concludes the best advice I've gathered on the subject. I hope it's enough.

Exercise On Bed Rest?

I weighed myself today because my midsection is growing and I've noticed some weight redistribution. Most annoying of this redistribution, my booty is looking kind of um, not there. After I was done crying, I reassured myself that my butt is a muscle that I can rebuild to all its glorious splendor post-delivery (and OH I WILL!!!) But it get's me worried of a greater issue, ongoing muscle atrophy.

Building new muscle and bone at my age is an extremely difficult task. I do have my secret post-partum celebrity body sculpting tactics. But I really don't want to lose my curves. I lost a bunch of weight in the first trimester, probably due to actually eating healthier (+morning sickness). My doctor said it was fine since I was overweight to begin with, 30lbs overweight (in all the right places).

I was told I really only need to gain 8-15 lbs. I was excited. That is not a problem. But now with CPP, even if it clears, by 10 weeks on restricted activity, I'm going to get frumpy if I don't do anything. So Tuesday when I talk to my doctor I'm going to ask about exercise.

In the meantime, I checked out a bunch of blogs on the subject of Bed Rest, Pelvic Rest, placenta previa and exercise. Most agree that Pelvic Rest and Bed Rest are very different. Restricted activity puts me closer to the Bed Rest group. Even if I am taken off restricted activity, due to undiagnosed weird pain episodes, I'll err on the side of caution unless the placenta moves.

"Move Bitch, Get Out The Way!"

Still, I want to be prepare for the green light ;) So I've been researching videos and articles with appropriate exercise instruction. Here is something I found:

Update: 19 Weeks

• By week 19, baby is around 10 inches in length and weighs about eight and half ounces.
• Baby's learns to poop. It's not called poop though. It's called Meconium so mothers don't freak out.
• Baby is covered in sludge. It's not called sludge though. It's called Vernix so mothers don't freak out.
• Baby starts to drink amniotic fluid and practicing how to break my grocery budget.
• Baby's ovaries start making eggs, which hopefully won't get fertilized until she's 30.
• Baby's senses start to take in input: taste, smell, vision, hearing and touch.
• Baby will start to learn the voices of Mommy, Daddy, Family and Wu-Tang clan.
• Baby starts to grow hair to give Mommy heart burn.
• Baby has functioning kidneys and is peeing in there. *cringes*

Here is a picture of a baby born premature at 19 weeks.

19 week preemie

145 days to go!
6 weeks to extra-uterine viability.

Boredom Busters: Best Rest Activities

I have to admit to myself that I'm a very active person and burdened by what my body needs me to do right now. Simultaneously, I'm all about making sure things go well. I'm going to need to find things to do in my house, preferably laying or sitting down. I'm not officially on 'bed rest', only 'restricted activity.' But listening to my body lately, I need to chill the heck out more often.

This is a running list (may be edited in the future) of ideas of things to do on bed rest. Awe, running... I miss running. Anyhow, here we go:

• Get into reading a book series or author. Any suggestions?
• Learn a new language. Get tapes, books, DVD's or use online lessons.
• Take an online class or open-course.
• Write stories, poetry, keep a journal or blog.
• Kindle :)
• Best rest exercise/yoga
• Watch TV and movies, DVD's and/or subscribe to a streaming service
• Play video games, X-Box, PSP, etc.
• Make scrapbooks by hand or online using a printing service
• Christmas shop online or start birthday shopping in advance.
• Clip coupons and prepare shopping lists
• Spell check your blog... ummmmmmmmmmm lol
• Do puzzles (crosswords, sodoku, word-search)
• Play cards/solitaire (with real cards lol)
• Start beading something, jewelry, gifts or post-partum swag
• Make a quilt
• Organize the laptop files, update address book, delete spam, etc.
• Surf the internet aimlessly
• Social network (Facebook, etc.) or find lost relatives
• Play online or Facebook games
• Do online surveys for money
• Start a web based business
• Design websites
• Draw or do graphic design, sketch portraits
• Sew on a mini-machine or by hand (make mittens, booties, etc.)
• Do a variety of arts and crafts
• Knit or crochet stuff
• Make friendship bracelets
• Do some cross stitch or needlepoint
• Groom endlessly: e.g. paint and re-paint nails
• Play with make up and hairstyles
• Count blessings

Add any suggestions you have in a comment.

<3

At Least I Got The Damn Turkey

Today was INSANITY.

Yesterday was crazy too, but I was so eager to get out of the house and get some fresh air that I didn't notice it was pouring rain and freezing. I did too much walking yesterday. I did too much of everything yesterday. But I felt euphoric. Today I had a simple plan. I had to get a Turkey for my mother, buy some toilet paper and head home. But just as I was waiting for my sister to come meet me, I got severe cramping and BH contractions.

Not what I'm talking about.

My appointment was supposed to be at 2, I didn't get out of there until past 4. I ended up getting over to my parents house nearby, which took me 30 minutes to walk 6 blocks. Luckily, my sisters Godmother drove me home a few hours later because no way was I walking anywhere. I spent the rest of the wait feeling betrayed by my body and guilty about not getting home on time.

How I feel

It seems like I didn't have these issues just 2 weeks ago. Why am I all of a sudden symptomatic? Speaking to my father helped a lot though. I did have symptoms all along. But since I didn't know what was causing them and listening to ER doctors telling me it's normal and everything looked fine; I sort of "walked it off." Now that I know what's wrong, there is anxiety behind every ache and pain. Needless to say, I'm not going out until Tuesday. I need to somehow convince myself that my anxiety right now is rational. At least I know what's actually going on. But I was unprepared, and that makes me feel like this:

This can't be good.

Update: Appointment Rescheduled For November 22nd

My appointment has been rescheduled for November 22nd instead of November 29th. My care has also been transferred entirely to my city hospital and my GYN (who's also an OB). Aside from the normal doings such as measurements, weight assessment and being told I need to gain weight; I'll get to talk to my doctor about what to do next. My city hospital is affiliated with a high risk clinic at a well known hospital in Boston. I'm going to press for a second opinion and if a no-go, then get one anyway (since I don't technically need a referral on my current insurance.)

In other news, I emailed the acupuncture clinic. The response I got was 2 sentences, not spelled correctly with no sense of professionalism. Scary. I don't know if that is because the practitioners office representative doesn't speak English well. Still, it makes me uneasy. I'm going to keep looking.

Explaining CPP and Pelvic Rest To A Man

Figure 1. Game Over

Ever since my diagnosis, I've been doing research on it. Good sources of information and experience often come from reading blogs and support forums. Something that comes up frequently as a concern among females with this condition is explaining the seriousness of the situation to their partner. Fortunately for me, everyone I've spoken to about it has been very understanding. But not everyone has such a compassionate social system.

When all else fails, the best route of communicating the circumstances is bluntly. Being the cold wench I can be, In support of my fellow females, I offer the following fear inducing statements (creative commons free for all):

1. If I have sex, I will bleed. Blood is gross.


2. If I have sex, the baby might die and you will feel guilty forever.


3. If I have sex, I might die and you will have to raise all these children ALONE.

If that doesn't deter your partner, get a restraining order.

The fact is, UNDENIABLY, the condition and it's requirements are HARDER on us than on anyone else. Constant anxiety, depression, stress along with often having to continue risking physical safety because life goes on -- not fun at all. And then to add insult to injury, no sex... Not even no sex, no orgasm whatsoever. Indeed it's a test of personal fortitude.

I hate to steal yet another image, but I couldn't possibly frame this better than Julie.

Figure 2. Shamefully borrowed without permission
from Little Pregnant Blog, only because it's perfect.

Related Interesting Read: Bedrest, A Guys Perspective @ Sidelines

Haemophobia: The Irrational Fear Of Red Kool-aid

***shiver***

Another funny blog tidbit, this time from Nea over at Happily Every Laughter. This was hysterical. I don't know why poking fun at the situation brings some relief but it does. This is a difficult diagnosis, especially when there is no known real cause but two potential victims. As Nea puts it, "I wish they would just say they don't know and it's the luck of the draw. Because it would help a million during the lonely times that you want to curl in a ball as you watch all the other pregnant ladies doing stuff like.... walking."

My placenta is hanging out with who and where?

For me, the major anxiety is I never bleed mildly. I can't help but reflect on the last time I was at the ER, due to spotting, and they put in an IV. They had to clear the pipes twice. And when I got home, my shirt and coat was completely ruined at the site of the IV, followed by a painful six inch bruise on my arm. I dread bleeding and I'm totally traumatized by my first pregnancy's hemorrhage experience. I can't even drink Red Kool-Aid, Red Gatoraid, Hawaiian Punch or red liquid without closing my eyes. Yeah, it's that psycho.

Norman 8/4/94, 6 lbs 2 oz.

Luckily I found another blog which offered my daily dose of assurance. Ann at Dou-la-la had a complete previa that resolved by term. She also used acupuncture. And her sarcasm is hilarious... "Yes, that's right, I was on order to have nothing in my vagina, nothing, not even the gloved fingers of a conventional medical professional . . . unless it was a big expensive medical dildo-like medical instrument. THAT was fine." LOL.

So I guess perspective is everything.

Occupy My Uterus

Traditional Chinese Medicine defines placenta previa as Sinking Qi. The objective of treatment is to raise Qi, promote a calm fetus and prevent or stop bleeding. Traditional Chinese Medicine uses two techniques in combination to treat the condition. The first is an herbal medicine, Bu Zhong Yi Qi Tang, which raises Qi. This treatment is also used to prevent miscarriages. The second technique is acupuncture via Du 20 accupoint on the top of the head.

Betts, D. (2006).  Acupuncture in Pregnancy and Childbirth. Hove: The Journal of Chinese Medicine Ltd. // holistickid.com

I am treating Placenta Previa

Now I know what you must be thinking. You must be thinking I'm out my pretty little mind for considering paying someone to put needles in my head. Maybe that's actually what I AM thinking and not what you're thinking. But in either case, it's a safe therapy that can't do any harm. The problem for me wouldn't be so much a psychological barrier to alternative therapy. Rather, it would be the alternative cost. Sadly, my insurance doesn't cover Traditional Chinese Medicine. But it does cover addictive deadly narcotics and life threatening major surgeries. ;)

Viva la Résistance

I did find a possible place to start exploring acupuncture. Using my master Googling skills, I happened upon www.acuhealing.org which is apparently run by a M.D. who also practices Traditional Chinese Medicine. So I sent the clinic an email and I'll probably call them in the morning. Although I'm almost sure it's not in my budget, it can't hurt to check it out.

Nerdage: Placental Trophotropism and Dynamic Placentation

I learned some big words today: Placental Trophotropism and Dynamic Placentation.

Placental trophotropism refers to a phenomenon where there is dynamic migration of the placenta at its insertion through gestation. The placenta tends to grow in areas of good blood supply and nutrition and artophies in areas with poor blood supply and poor nutrition. Placental trophotropism is also the reason for placenta previa noted in an early pregnancy scan to resolve in certain cirumstances in a later scan. Trophotropism, also referred to as Dynamic Placentation, placental tissue can be compared to the tendency of a plant to lean towards the sun to get the light it needs to survive. Since the lower segment of the uterus is not as nourishing as the upper segment, the placenta will grow upwards to reach more nourishing tissue.

Farquharson RG, Stephenson MD; Early Pregnancy. Cambridge Univ Pr. (2010)
Baergen RN, Benirschke K.; Manual of Pathology of the Human Placenta. Springer Verlag. (2010)
Benirschke K, Kaufmann P; Pathology of the Human Placenta. Springer (2000)

I will refrain from the Freudian analysis...

Based on this theory, developed by Dr. Harris Finberg, M.D., logically one should be able to therefore "coax" the placenta in a desired direction by improving the quality and quantity of blood supply at the top of the uterus while simultaneously reducing the available blood supply to the bottom of the uterus.

Here fishy fishy fishy!!!

The interesting thing about this theory is that it gives some weight to the Traditional Chinese Medicinal approach to the condition, as well as, the requirement of Pelvic Rest.

The Traditional Chinese Medicinal therapy for placenta previa is to use acupuncture and herbs to stimulate blood flow to the top of the uterus. In addition, orgasm greatly improves circulation to the vaginal and cervical areas (I sure hope it does!). But doing this however, it gives the placenta a rich source of nutrients. By refraining from all orgasm, stimulation and sex; it doesn't just prevent the cervix from being aggravated, it helps reduce the blood flow to the area (often signified by genital arousal and overall warm fuzzy feelings that I will genuinely spite not having.)

*cough*

This is precisely how I envisioned pregnancy. #Fail

So I'm researching places that do acupuncture on pregnant women. I've yet to find anything in my area. But I'll keep looking. If you hear of anything, leave a comment.

What an excellent day for an exorcism.

Joseph has been sick, on and off, since October 18th. First he had a bad cold and then he had a major ear infection. He seemed to be doing well for a few days until he woke up this morning looking like this:

Hi mom!

Something is going around. Two others that attended my nephew's party this weekend got sick too. Joseph's doctor said it's a 24 hour stomach virus (Norovirus). But it feels like forever to me. This is me right now...

FML

What a week to be diagnosed with this CPP thing. Today alone I chased after a miserable toddler (who never had repeat vomiting before so was terrified), bending, lifting, chasing, bathing, started 3 loads of laundry then had to walk him a mile to the doctor to get a prescription for electrolytes. Nature is playing a cruel joke right now. And I haven't even begun the "big disinfect" spree that must occur when he feels better. Halfway to the pharmacy I got cramping enough to have to sit down. Then I realized, my kid cannot get sick for the rest of my pregnancy.

And meanwhile, back in reality...

This changes things. A dear friend of mine offered to take Joseph out this weekend. We will probably cancel considering I won't be sure if he's contagious. But despite his bloodwork being clear for any immune deficiency, this kid catches a cold making eye contact.

Being a supermom (not), I have no idea how to respond to a sick person while simultaneously not moving abruptly. Is that even possible? I wish there were some advice somewhere on the subject. Actually, I wish I had telekinesis... I'm dumbstruck. Now I'm just hoping I didn't contract it. I guess I will find out in a few days.

How Do I Feel?

I was looking for a mood gadget for the sidebar and didn't come across anything that I liked. Then I asked myself, how do I actually feel anyway? Being a Gemini (hoping it's not instead, latent Schizophrenia), I'm known to have mixed emotions, conflicted feelings and mood spasms. These usually occur with a degree of humor and class. #Not. Enough said. Then while surfing the web I came across a picture that summed it up perfectly.

How I feel today.

I mostly feel that way because my place looks like this:

My apartment.

Luckily, tomorrow is Monday and I can call the doctors office and talk to someone about housework. And since I have to go out tomorrow to pay some bills anyway, I'll be picking up some paper plates, a trash pail for each room and a copy of this book:

Just a little pregnant...

Figure 1. You are so screwed.

Sorry, I had to borrow this image from the girl over at a little pregnant blog. I wish I could have her sense of humor. She cracks me up. I've been doing some reading on the subject but there isn't much out there besides a variety of different personal experiences from good to horrific.There doesn't even seem to be any official support group for the condition even though lots of women experience it. That's so strange.

I'm really bad at asking for help...

I appreciate all the texts and emails I've been getting from friends and family saying that if I need anything to reach out. But I've realized I'm terrible at asking for help.

I really don't like to be dependent. But pride aside, I really don't know how to ask. =( Plus I hate putting people in a position to have to say no.

So I thought about it all last night and all I can think of is that any help is helpful. I don't really need any money or for people to pay for things. The hardest part is figuring out how I'm going to run my household on activity restriction and more importantly, how I would manage an emergency; especially if I were to be hospitalized.

Most importantly, I need to have a plan, backup plan and social network for Joseph in case of an emergency or hospitalization. Most people I know are not up at night and wouldn't hear the phone. Also routinely, caring for a toddler on restricted activity or bed rest may become increasingly difficult, and the condition itself difficult could worsen if I don't relax. It's very complex.

My instructions were:

• I cannot be too active, including intercourse (beg pardon?!) or exercise. I can do arm exercises with the yoga band while seated or laying down. I can (so far) walk up to a 1/2 mile at a leisurely pace if necessary.
• I shouldn't lift, push or pull anything over 10 lbs, including Joseph.
• I cannot bend over too suddenly, reach too high or sit forward to far, fast or too long.
  
• I cannot stand or walk for long periods or distances
• I'm not supposed to use the stairs if I can avoid them.

Pelvic rest is mandatory until the condition clears. Restricted activity may be just temporary until I see the doctor on November 29th; once the doctors have analyzed everything in depth. I've already had spotting so that is a factor in the restriction. The whole ordeal is just unpredictable.

The #1 thing that would really help is prayer and emotional support.

Next to that, keeping Joseph occupied is important to me. I was told not to lift him and he's very active. If you know me, you know I'm very outdoorsy and engaging and so this is a drastic transition in lifestyle for him. It's already been a couple days and he's upset from extreme boredom. My restricted activity is a sentence for him to his playpen a lot, television (blah!) and boredom. Time passes so much slower for him. No fun. Any family/friends willing to visit, stay over or take him out; my doors are open. I probably wont ask so feel free to offer if you want to.

I suppose it couldn't hurt to have help with domestic things like cleaning, cooking, errands, etc. Although I think the strategy will be paper plates, frozen dinners and paying bills online; little things will unravel. My teenager is helpful on tying loose ends. But any little help is a lot of help. Again, I probably wont ask. So anything you may feel compelled to do, you're welcome to.

Sadly, I won't be able to make any new plans regarding events, birthday parties, etc. Sorry. But anyone is free to visit.

I don't like to be pessimistic so for now I'm focusing on happy things like doing my online classes, finding a cheap laptop and watching movies with Joseph. My attitude is really to just take it day by day. When it comes down to it, it's nobodies responsibility but mine so I am both grateful and yet, resolved that whatever happens, happens. So don't worry too much or feel guilty if you can't help. Fact is, I can't either... so I understand. =)

Thank you again for your interest, love and friendship.

Name That Baby Contest

RULES

• You can put as many names in a single comment as you'd like.
  Or, you can post as many comments as you like.
• No names with punctuation or spaces: Shan'ia, Mar-la, La Belle, P*%^$#??? etc.
• No theme/brand names: Tequila, Mustang, Ocean Spray etc.
• No play on words: Anita Bath, Candace Spencer, Fanny, Iwanna Olive
• All name entries should be girl names or unisex
• If the name you suggested was selected for first or second name, you will be notified by email or a contact I have for you (Phone Number, Facebook, etc.) Please leave your contact information (or email it, along with your username) so I can let you know if you've won.
• Yes, you can win both first and second name prizes (if you're that good.)
  
• If you have additional questions, leave a comment.
• The baby will be named regardless of outcome.
• Name will be selected no later than after delivery. Subscribe to this blog for delivery announcement or check back no later than April 30, 2012.
• Prize will be awarded upon selection(s) but no later than April 30, 2012.

BONUS TIPS

I like names with meanings. Post the meaning if you know it. =)

~~~HAVE FUN~~~