I'm really bad at asking for help...

I appreciate all the texts and emails I've been getting from friends and family saying that if I need anything to reach out. But I've realized I'm terrible at asking for help.

I really don't like to be dependent. But pride aside, I really don't know how to ask. =( Plus I hate putting people in a position to have to say no.

So I thought about it all last night and all I can think of is that any help is helpful. I don't really need any money or for people to pay for things. The hardest part is figuring out how I'm going to run my household on activity restriction and more importantly, how I would manage an emergency; especially if I were to be hospitalized.

Most importantly, I need to have a plan, backup plan and social network for Joseph in case of an emergency or hospitalization. Most people I know are not up at night and wouldn't hear the phone. Also routinely, caring for a toddler on restricted activity or bed rest may become increasingly difficult, and the condition itself difficult could worsen if I don't relax. It's very complex.

My instructions were:

• I cannot be too active, including intercourse (beg pardon?!) or exercise. I can do arm exercises with the yoga band while seated or laying down. I can (so far) walk up to a 1/2 mile at a leisurely pace if necessary.
• I shouldn't lift, push or pull anything over 10 lbs, including Joseph.
• I cannot bend over too suddenly, reach too high or sit forward to far, fast or too long.
  
• I cannot stand or walk for long periods or distances
• I'm not supposed to use the stairs if I can avoid them.

Pelvic rest is mandatory until the condition clears. Restricted activity may be just temporary until I see the doctor on November 29th; once the doctors have analyzed everything in depth. I've already had spotting so that is a factor in the restriction. The whole ordeal is just unpredictable.

The #1 thing that would really help is prayer and emotional support.

Next to that, keeping Joseph occupied is important to me. I was told not to lift him and he's very active. If you know me, you know I'm very outdoorsy and engaging and so this is a drastic transition in lifestyle for him. It's already been a couple days and he's upset from extreme boredom. My restricted activity is a sentence for him to his playpen a lot, television (blah!) and boredom. Time passes so much slower for him. No fun. Any family/friends willing to visit, stay over or take him out; my doors are open. I probably wont ask so feel free to offer if you want to.

I suppose it couldn't hurt to have help with domestic things like cleaning, cooking, errands, etc. Although I think the strategy will be paper plates, frozen dinners and paying bills online; little things will unravel. My teenager is helpful on tying loose ends. But any little help is a lot of help. Again, I probably wont ask. So anything you may feel compelled to do, you're welcome to.

Sadly, I won't be able to make any new plans regarding events, birthday parties, etc. Sorry. But anyone is free to visit.

I don't like to be pessimistic so for now I'm focusing on happy things like doing my online classes, finding a cheap laptop and watching movies with Joseph. My attitude is really to just take it day by day. When it comes down to it, it's nobodies responsibility but mine so I am both grateful and yet, resolved that whatever happens, happens. So don't worry too much or feel guilty if you can't help. Fact is, I can't either... so I understand. =)

Thank you again for your interest, love and friendship.